My Last Breath
by Psychotic Female of Many Names
Summary: She used her last breath to say, “I love you.” It broke his heart, seeing her unfocused eyes, knowing that she was seeing someone else, loving someone else. And yet he still had to save her. CxE, AU.
1. Chapter 1

**My Last Breath**

_by Psychotic_

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Summary: She used her last breath to say, "I love you." It broke his heart, seeing her unfocused eyes, knowing that she was seeing someone else, loving someone else. And yet he still had to save her. CxE, AU.

* * *

School was a pain, Esme decided. She hated how immature everyone at the high school was, even the kids older than her. She had always been more mature than most people, though.

With a sigh, she stood up from her last class of the day, grateful that it was finally done for the year. Time for summer, which included cooking and babysitting, two of her favorite activities. She had even offered to be a nanny for someone during the mornings and early afternoons of the weekdays, and she was looking forward to that job. It wasn't going to start until July, however.

"Esme! Esme Anne Platt! Stop ignoring me!"

The caramel-haired girl spun around to spot her only good friend, Bella Swan. "Oh, sorry, Bells," she apologized sincerely. "I was off in my own little world."

"You seem to do that a lot, don't you?" Bella asked teasingly. Esme rolled her eyes. "Are you looking forward to the summer?"

Esme nodded. "I am. I'm really excited for my nannying job, but that's not until July."

Bella just shrugged. "At least that means we can hang out, though, right?"

"What ever happened to visiting your mom?"

"Oh, yeah!" Bella groaned, her hand to her head. "I forgot. I'm visiting her all this month and the next. I'm sorry, Ezzy."

A look was shot towards the brunette, who smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I know you hate that name. I always forget. Esme is just so… formal."

Rolling her eyes, Esme just nodded noncommittally, getting into her car. "I'll see you later, Bella. Remember to call me from Phoenix, okay?" When her friend nodded, Esme turned the car on and carefully exited the parking lot.

As usual, her parents were still at work when she got home. To pass the time, Esme grabbed one of her favorite books, Jane Eyre, and an apple and went to her backyard. There was a huge tree in her yard that was perfect for climbing, and she loved to sit up there and read.

She was still reading in the branches when her mother arrived. The call of, "Esme!" shocked the poor girl out of her book. It also caused her to lose her balance and she struggled for a moment to regain it before she fell sideways and out of the tree.

Esme landed with a loud crack, followed quickly by a scream. Her mother came rushing outside and saw her daughter's state, panicked, and quickly pulled out her cell phone to dial 911.

_Way to spend the first day of summer, Esme_, she chastised herself as she was wheeled into a room at the hospital, trying to ignore the shooting pain in her leg. It was more difficult than she had originally thought.

"I'm going to go call your father and wait outside," her mother told her anxiously. Esme nodded; she knew her mother hated the sight of blood, needles, or anything medical. She closed her eyes and laid her head back against the pillows, doing her best to block out the pain.

Footsteps were heard coming into the room and then a voice that made her melt said, "Miss Platt?"

Her eyes flew open. With a voice like that, she had to see the person it belonged to. She wasn't disappointed. He was very pale, with bruise-like shadows beneath his eyes. Of course, his eyes were a gorgeous butterscotch that seemed to be able to read her with a single glance. His hair was the most wonderful shade of blonde, appearing soft and light. It was sun-kissed, she decided. She wanted it to be Esme-kissed.

She remembered that he'd said something and nodded slowly. She felt like her brain had melted into a mush that slid around in her head.

"I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen," he introduced himself. "I'm going to give you some painkillers and then we'll have to reset your leg, alright?"

She nodded again, this time feeling a bit more responsive. Dr. Cullen pulled out a needle and stuck it into the IV that the nurses had given her, injecting the painkillers into her system. The effect was almost instant, and Esme was extremely glad for that.

"This is going to hurt," Dr. Cullen warned her. She braced herself, grasping the sides of the hospital bed and gritting her teeth. Bella had gotten a bone reset once, and she had described it as horribly painful.

Bella was right.

When the doctor set it, Esme screamed involuntarily at the pain, her knuckles turning white on the bed. She was panting heavily when it was done, tears running down her cheeks.

Dr. Cullen looked extremely apologetic. "I'm so sorry," he said. "I know it hurts, but it had to be done."

"I-I know," Esme said breathlessly, finally able to find her voice for the first time since the doctor had arrived. Her grip loosened a bit and she felt herself relaxing. Luckily, the pain was going away quickly enough.

"We just need to cast it then," Dr. Cullen said. "Any particular color you want?"

Esme bit her lip. "Do you happen to have green?"

He smiled. "That we do. I'll be right back to cast it for you."

Once he'd left, Esme sighed. He was so beautiful, it was almost unbelievable. As she laid there, reveling in his looks, Bella flew into the room.

"Esme!" she exclaimed. "Oh, my god! What happened? Your mom called me and said you were at the hospital."

She explained the story without too many details, glad that Bella wasn't leaving until the next day. Having her friend there was a nice comfort. Esme finally got around to describing the doctor to her after, and Bella laughed.

"Sounds nice, Esme," she said. "I'm glad you like your doctor." She rolled her eyes. "He's new, or so my dad says. Moved down from Alaska, I guess. I can't stay long, though. I need to finish packing. It is a two-month trip, you know."

Bella left not long after, as she'd said, and Dr. Cullen came in as she was retreating. She blushed and hurried from the room, not glancing back at her friend. The doctor came over to Esme's bed and sat down in the chair at the end.

"Was that a friend of yours?" he asked amiably as he got the casting supplies ready.

"Yes," Esme said with a smile. "Her name is Bella. You'll probably get to know her very well while you're in Forks. She's very clumsy and accident-prone. She's always in the emergency room."

Dr. Cullen laughed. "Well, it's not her that's here today, is it?"

Esme blushed and looked away. "I lost my balance. My mother had scared me by calling my name."

"What _did_ happen? The nurses said you fell from a tree, but that was all they told me."

"I was reading and my mother came home. I didn't notice, and when she called my name, I was shocked and lost my balance. I fell out of the tree and landed wrong on my leg."

He grimaced. "That doesn't sound very good."

"It wasn't," Esme agreed. "If it was, I wouldn't be here right now."

He laughed again, and Esme decided she liked it a lot. She would have to make him do that more often. "That's very true, Miss Platt."

"Esme, please. I hate how Miss Platt sounds."

Dr. Cullen smiled. "Of course, Esme. You can call me Carlisle then." She liked the idea of that. "How old are you?"

"I'm sixteen," she explained. "I just finished my sophomore year at the high school."

Nodding, Carlisle continued with the casting. "What do you like to do besides read and climb trees, Esme?" He was obviously teasing by the smile on his lips.

"I like to cook and take care of kids. I love kids; I hope to become an elementary school teacher someday."

"That's nice," the doctor said sincerely. Most people didn't understand her love of kids at her age, and she was glad that he did.

It was silent for a moment before Esme decided to break it. "So how are you liking Forks so far?"

Carlisle smiled secretively. "I'm enjoying it very much," he said. "The people I've met so far are extremely interesting." He looked up to meet her eyes, holding her gaze for a moment before she looked away, embarrassed.

Esme almost wanted to purposely get hurt just to come back and see him when she left the hospital later.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, there's the first chapter! What do you all think so far? It's Carlisle and Esme's story set in modern times. (: There's also a few extra little twists I'll add in there for you all. (;

Review and be happy!

_Psychotic Female of Many Names_

_06.18.09_


	2. Chapter 2

**My Last Breath**

_by Psychotic_

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Summary: She used her last breath to say, "I love you." It broke his heart, seeing her unfocused eyes, knowing that she was seeing someone else, loving someone else. And yet he still had to save her. CxE, AU.

* * *

Summer had passed by faster than Esme could have imagined. She had gone back to see Carlisle periodically for check-ups on her leg for the first eight weeks of it. At six weeks, the cast was taken off, and she was given a big, splint-like boot that she could walk in. Once that came off at eight weeks, though, she wasn't to see Carlisle again that summer. She wasn't going to go through the pain of another break or other injury just to see him. Also, he might have seen right through that.

Bella had stayed in Phoenix for an extra two weeks and hadn't come back until right before the start of school. That left them only a week to hang out, and they spent that entire time catching up.

Now it was the first day of school and the pair was extremely excited to finally meet Dr. Cullen's children. Neither of them had seen them in their morning classes, and were wondering about it as they entered the lunchroom. It was then that they spotted a group of teens who had to be the Cullens.

There were five of them. The first pair was wrapped around each other closely. The girl had luscious blonde hair and looked like she should be a legendary model. The male on her side had dark curls on top of his head and was huge, with bulging muscles and a tall frame.

The second couple was simply holding hands, but it seemed much more intimate than the first's pose. This female had short, cropped black hair and was very short, almost pixie-like. The boy with her was also blonde, like the first girl, but was very tall, and had a strained expression on his face, like he was in pain.

One male trailed behind them, alone. His hair was an odd bronze shade, somewhere between red and brown, and was more lanky and boyish than the other two men. All of the family had pale skin and the same golden eyes of Carlisle's, which made Esme wonder if they really weren't related.

"That's the Cullens," a voice came from next to them. Bella jumped and Esme turned. Jessica Stanley was there, arms on her hips. "The blonde one and the big guy are Rosalie Hale and Emmett Cullen. The dark girl is Alice Cullen, and the blonde boy is Jasper Hale. And the last one is Edward Cullen. I've already asked him out, but he says he doesn't date." She was scowling.

Bella stared. "Already, Jessica? Can't you give them a break on their first day?"

"If I didn't try now, he might have been taken away from me!" Jessica explained haughtily, storming off. She was obviously angry that he'd turned her down.

They hurriedly ate, trying not to stare at the Cullens like the rest of the school was. It was obvious that they wanted to be left alone, though, as they sent away the few people who did approach them.

Bella bid her friend goodbye to head off to her biology class while Esme went the opposite direction to pre-calculus. When she got there, she noticed that she had two of the Cullens in her class: Alice and Emmett. She also noticed that the only open seat left was in the desk by them. The teacher had set the desks up in groups of three, and she was forced to work with the seemingly anti-social Cullens.

She cautiously sat down, setting her bag down next to her chair. Alice smiled at her sweetly and stuck out her hand. "Hi, I'm Alice Cullen," she said cheerily. Esme replied with her own smile and shook the girl's hand. "I'm Esme Platt. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Esme didn't miss the glance that Alice shot Emmett, who shook her hand next. "I'm Emmett Cullen," he introduced himself. She repeated her pleasantry, saying it was nice to meet him.

They seemed nice enough, and obviously willing to talk, so Esme spoke up. "Your father is a doctor, right?" They nodded. "That's interesting. I broke my leg this summer and he took care of me." She smiled at the memories. They had spent a lot of time talking about things that had nothing to do with her leg.

"Cool!" Alice said. "Dad's a good doctor, and he loves his job. You know, I think he might've told us about you." She grinned.

Esme found herself blushing lightly. It was like Alice was almost teasing. "Th-that's nice," she stated. "I can't imagine why, though. My case wasn't especially interesting, and I'm certainly not anyone amazing."

Emmett looked like he wanted to pipe in just then, but Alice hit his arm, and he was silent. Esme was about to ask, but the teacher called the class to order, and they began.

Later, when school got out, Bella told her about her encounter with one Edward Cullen. He had apparently given her looks that he hated her, and was very hostile. Esme was surprised, as he hadn't seemed too mean, and Bella hadn't done anything from what she'd heard. They decided to let it drop, though, and not worry too much about Edward, even though Esme could tell that it was bothering her friend.

Edward didn't come back to school until the next week, and he was very friendly when he did return. Esme had tried to be nice and social with Alice and Emmett, but they wouldn't talk much to her, giving short, clipped responses, only saying an especially large amount during group work time. It sounded like Bella was having much more luck with the Cullen she was dealing with.

Months passed, and Bella's relationship with the Cullens grew stronger, especially concerning Edward. Since she and Esme were best friends, Esme sat with her and the Cullens at lunch, and so her relationships grew, too. She found good friends in Alice and Jasper, and even discovered that she liked Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie didn't seem to care for Bella, but they would get over it, Esme thought.

It wasn't much longer before Bella announced that she was dating Edward. It surprised her, but didn't seem to shock the rest of Edward's family. Bella began to spend more time at their house, and Esme hoped that she would be invited, too, but she never was. She had wished to see Carlisle while there, but if she was never offered the chance, she wouldn't be able to.

Her only encounter with Carlisle was now her few weeks with a cast, and that saddened her. She couldn't do anything about it, however, even if she thought about him constantly. He was much older than her, and he would never see her like she saw him.

The one thing that broke Esme came a month before the end of school. The Cullens moved away, and she was extremely depressed. Bella was just as upset as she was, or so it seemed. Esme had never gotten to say goodbye to Carlisle, or even the friends she'd made in his children.

A week later, Bella was reported missing. Her truck was gone, and it was only a couple days after that they found her truck at the bottom of a steep drop off a small back road. It had been slick, they'd said, and the truck slid off the road and down the drop, crashing against the rocks below. The car had burst into flames; Bella had never stood a chance. The rain had put the fire out, but the body was burned so badly that it was unrecognizable. The funeral was closed-casket.

Esme barely had the strength or sanity to finish high school. She just graduate by a hair, and quickly returned home, where she stayed locked up, lonely and depressed. The answer to going to college was obvious for Esme; she had nothing left, so there was no need for her to go and get a degree in teaching. She saw no point.

When her parents became fed up and asked her to marry a successful young man who'd just moved to Forks, Esme didn't refuse. What did she have to lose? He seemed nice enough, and she was at the perfect age of twenty-one to marry.

One month later, Esme Anne Platt became Esme Anne Platt Evenson, and she was blindly diving into a nightmare that she thought would turn out to be just a dream.

* * *

**A/N:** Aww, poor Esme. I feel really bad for her; don't you? She just keeps getting thrown into the fire, over and over and over… D:

Review and be happy!

_Psychotic Female of Many Names_

_06.23.09_


	3. Chapter 3

**My Last Breath**

_by Psychotic_

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Summary: She used her last breath to say, "I love you." It broke his heart, seeing her unfocused eyes, knowing that she was seeing someone else, loving someone else. And yet he still had to save her. CxE, AU.

* * *

It started out as just one slap when she had forgotten to clean his nice shirts. It quickly escalated from that one slap, though, to multiple slaps, then to a few punches, and then to full-out hitting wherever he could reach.

Charles liked to put on a nice face for the public, but he was abusive behind closed doors. Esme was miserable, so she didn't complain much. She did everything he asked her to do, down to the last detail, and she still got beatings when he came home from work. She had constant bruises lining her skin, but she never went out much, so it didn't matter. Charles often picked up the groceries and such as he didn't want her out of the house, because, as he said, "you might try to seduce other men to get away from me."

One day, Esme had an epiphany. She realized that even with Carlisle gone and Bella dead, they would want her to be happy. They wouldn't want her to go through what she was. In a split second decision, she called her parents while Charles was out at work. She explained what he did to her, but they didn't listen. They never had listened to what she said. They told her that it wasn't as extreme as she was making it out to be and to just stay quiet and be a good wife to Charles.

Esme hung up the phone angrily. _What wonderful parents_, she thought bitterly. _If only they could see the bruises on me. _They never visited, though, instead opting to call, and so she had to do as they said. It wasn't like she could get out of the house to run away or tell anyone. She had lost all of her friends from high school in her senior year since she'd pushed them all away in her misery. They wouldn't help.

The door slammed suddenly, and Esme jumped. "You had better have those dishes done, Esme Evenson!" Charles shouted as he hung up his coat. Esme shook in terror. She had done everything he'd told her to, but she knew that he'd find something wrong.

"There's a spot on this plate!" he screamed, throwing the dish to the ground, causing it to shatter on impact. Esme jumped again at the noise. He stepped forward, advancing on her menacingly. "I told you, no spots on my dishes!" He reached out and slapped her forcefully across her face, sending her sprawling.

As she cowered on the floor, he kicked her in the side, and she cried out in pain. He pulled her up and hit her a few more times before dropping her against the wall. "Don't leave spots on my dishes," he growled, stomping up the stairs.

Esme shook in her place on the floor, holding her knees to her chest, as she sobbed painfully.

* * *

At the age of twenty-five, four years into their marriage and three years into his abuse, Esme discovered something that scared her beyond belief.

She was pregnant, and had been for a month and a half already.

Esme would have never had sex with Charles willingly once she'd found that he was abusive. Instead, he dragged her up to their room and quite literally raped her. It must have been one of those times that had conceived this life form that was now growing inside of her.

This was her catalyst to leave Charles. She couldn't bring up a child in the life she lived. She needed to escape, and as soon as possible.

Only the next day, Charles was leaving for work, and Esme had her entire getaway planned out. "I want the laundry done when I get home," he told her. "And I want the kitchen spotless. You hear me?"

She nodded and said submissively, "Yes, Charles."

He seemed satisfied by that answer and left once his coat was on. It was only a few more moments before she heard the car pulling out of the driveway and saw it drive away down the street.

Esme spun on the spot and hurried upstairs to pack a suitcase with a few clothes and the things that were most precious to her. She filled the bag and then grabbed a few other items she'd need before leaving the house.

She had a bus pass, luckily, and took the only bus that went from Forks to Seattle. From there, she took another bus that would bring her across Idaho, Montana, and the Dakotas before dropping her off in Minneapolis. Her cousin would be waiting for her there and would take her to Milwaukee and keep her hidden until she could find somewhere else.

The bus only stopped to get gas and change drivers. Everyone else on the bus was also traveling nonstop to Minneapolis, so Esme literally lived on the bus for a few days. She washed herself and brushed her teeth and hair as gas station bathrooms, like the other people on the bus. She slept in the seats and read the two books she'd brought with her.

Finally, they stopped at the station in Minneapolis. Esme stepped off with a feeling of relief. She spotted her cousin almost instantly, and she ran over. Her cousin, Anna, pulled her into a hug. Esme hissed in pain and Anna let go quickly.

"I'm so sorry, Esme!" she exclaimed. "I should have known… You must still have bruises and stuff. It's only been a few days, after all." Esme nodded with a sad smile, and the two got into the car, eager to be off.

Milwaukee was a seven hour drive from Minneapolis, which seemed short compared to the last stretch she'd been on. Esme had only told Anna briefly of what Charles did to her, and the girl had instantly agreed to pick her up and help. While in the car, though, she explained it to her cousin in detail, then of why she was running now instead of before. Anna was very sympathetic, and an extreme feminist. She hated the idea of any woman being treated wrongly, and that was what made her the best choice in Esme's mind, along with the fact that she was her favorite cousin.

Anna's apartment wasn't very big, but it was perfect for Esme. It only had one bedroom, so she had to sleep on the couch, but she couldn't care less. It was away from Charles. She was finally free, and if that meant sleeping on a couch, then she could live with it.

It was three months into Esme's stay at Anna's, and her stomach was growing quickly. It was already a rather large bump, and she noticed as it got bigger and bigger. She would have been happy to stay and have her baby with Anna, but that wasn't possible, as demonstrated by her cousin that day.

"Esme!" Anna shouted as she rushed into the apartment. Esme was instantly out of the kitchen and in front of her cousin, holding the other woman's shoulder worriedly.

"What's wrong?"

Anna was breathing heavily. "I don't know how, but… your family knows you're here! I swear I didn't say a word, but somehow they found out! You have to go!"

Esme's eyes widened and she froze. Her family knew? If her parents knew, then Charles was sure to know as well. Anna gave her cousin a little plastic card. "Here," she said. "I've had this for emergencies for awhile. It's got quite a bit of money in the account. You won't be able to get a job without telling them your real identity, and then your parents will be able to find you. Use this whenever you need anything; it's under my name, and we have the same last name. When you use it, just tell them that you have my permission, and then show them your ID. They'll just check your last name, and you should be fine. One of my friends has an apartment up in Ashland that she doesn't use anymore. She keeps it just in case, and I'll let her know that you're using it. She'll understand. Here are the keys. Take the bus up to Ashland, and go to this address." Keys and a little slip of paper were handed to her. "You need to hurry up and pack! I'll call my friend, alright?"

Esme found her eyes beginning to tear up, but nodded, packing her suitcase quickly. When she was finished, she found herself enveloped in a tight hug.

"I love you, Esme," Anna said, her voice wavering.

"I love you, too, Anna." She hugged her back just as firmly, crying silently against her cousin's shoulder.

When they pulled back, Anna wiped her eyes and said, "My friend said that there's a bed and a couch, along with a fridge and stove and stuff. There are even blankets and pillows, and she said that she has some extra clothes that she keeps there just in case. She's a big woman, so you'll probably fit into her stuff even with your big belly, no offense to her." She laughed a bit.

Esme smiled. "Thank you so much for everything you've done for me, Anna."

"It's nothing!" Anna said. "You deserve to be free from that horrible excuse for a man. Now go! You need to get out of here!"

Esme was out of the apartment and on the bus within ten minutes.

* * *

**A/N:** Well! There's the next part of the story for you. I plan to write the whole baby part next, and add in a teeny tiny minuscule twist. (;

Review and be happy!

_Psychotic Female of Many Names_

_06.29.09_


	4. Chapter 4

**My Last Breath**

_by Psychotic_

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Summary: She used her last breath to say, "I love you." It broke his heart, seeing her unfocused eyes, knowing that she was seeing someone else, loving someone else. And yet he still had to save her. CxE, AU.

* * *

Ashland was a small town in northern Wisconsin, along Lake Superior. Esme didn't have too much trouble finding the apartment she was supposed to stay in. She dropped her things off in the bedroom, happy to find that Anna's friend had been right; a few pieces of clothing were in the closet and dresser, and it looked like they would fit over her pregnant belly.

Esme unpacked her own clothing and laid them out where she wanted before heading out to buy some food and other things she'd need while she was staying there. Anna had been right about the credit card; the grocery store was fine with her using the card with Anna's permission, they just needed to see an ID. Esme hoped that the employees wouldn't find anything unusual about it and tell others. The last thing she needed was her parents discovering her location again.

Luckily, no one noticed that she didn't leave her apartment much. She was able to stay low throughout her entire pregnancy, and even when she went into labor, it wasn't a huge ordeal. She didn't panic and she managed to get an older woman on her floor to drive her to the hospital. The woman, who she learned was named Leigh, stayed with her while they wheeled her to the room, holding her hand tightly.

"It'll be alright, darling," she assured her sweetly. "I've already had four of my own. It doesn't get any easier, but they are a blessing once it's over with."

Esme smiled at her thankfully, but it quickly disappeared as her face contorted in pain. Apparently, she was already very dilated, and was almost ready to have the child.

When it was all over, Esme was handed a beautiful baby boy. She smiled weakly down at him, kissing his newly-cleaned forehead. She was only given a moment with him, however, before the nurses hurriedly took him away. The baby wasn't screaming, and his breathing was extremely labored.

"Wh-what's going on?!" Esme asked, worried.

The doctor came over, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "He's just having some trouble breathing, Esme. We'll figure out the problem and fix it quickly. You just rest and don't worry about it."

She couldn't help but be anxious and upset, though. Her baby boy was sick. She was at least given a chance to name him while they did tests. She decided on Anthony Isaac Platt, writing it on the little line that she was supposed to put his name on.

She didn't exactly care at this point if her name was now down on the documents, easy for her parents to find now. All she cared about was her Anthony, and his welfare.

Esme rested for awhile, unable to help drifting off. She was just so physically exhausted from the birthing process that she couldn't stop sleep overcoming her. The doctors released her the next day when she woke up, though, and she quickly went to the intensive care wing where Anthony was. She spent that entire day in front of the window where she could see him, the tubes hooked up to him, the heart monitor slowly beeping.

The doctors were very nice and offered her a cot to sleep on for the night. She accepted it, along with the small plate of hospital food they'd brought for her. They understood how worried she was about her baby, but they wanted to make sure that she ate and slept.

When Esme woke up, she noticed doctors surrounding her little Anthony's bed. She jumped up and hurried over to the door, knocking on it. One of the doctors came over and came out to her. "Can I help you?" she asked politely.

"That's my boy!" she told her. "What's wrong? What's going on?"

The doctor looked down for a moment before meeting her gaze. "We don't think your son is going to make it, Miss Platt. He has a lung infection that's very severe. We've tried medication, but he's a newborn, so we can't give him anything too big or strong. It seems that nothing we're doing is helping."

Esme stared at her. Her Anthony was… dying? She collapsed against the wall, falling to floor, and cried. What was she going to do? He was her life, and was her reason for leaving Charles and her family. She couldn't go back to them; Charles would kill her with the beating she would receive.

Of course, she could always kill herself.

She could be with Anthony and Bella then. She would have her boy and her best friend back. Resolve set, she watched as the doctors continued to fret over her baby, and then as the heart monitor slowed even more and flat lined. She was told that Anthony was dead and given the doctors' sympathies.

Esme slowly went back home. She put on one of her best dresses and a necklace that her parents had given her when she was young. She had never taken it off until she was at the hospital and had been required to. If she wore this, her parents would recognize her body even if it was completely mangled.

She was going to jump from a cliff that ended in Lake Superior. She walked past it whenever she went to grocery store. It was always deserted, so no one would see her jump. There were sharp, jagged rocks along the bottom that would surely kill her on impact, and that was perfect for her.

It didn't take long for Esme to walk to the cliff. She looked down and noticed that the rocks were almost fully covered by the water. Well, it seemed that her necklace wasn't needed. The water was choppy from the wind that day, and the waves would carry her body off. No one would ever find it. She wanted to leave a bit of evidence, though, so that her family knew that she had died, and took off her necklace. She carefully set it down on a flat rock by the cliff, face up.

Esme stepped to the edge and looked down again. She took a deep breath and then heard her name being called. She turned around just as she stepped off the cliff and saw her parents and Charles, watching her with horrified faces.

The impact was painful and knocked her unconscious. The three who had seen her jump looked for her body, but were unable to find it. What they didn't know was that someone else had seen and plucked her battered body from the water.

Esme regained consciousness momentarily when she was lifted up. She knew that she was dying when she saw a slightly blurry version of her own personal angel's face. Carlisle. She had to tell him before she died, she had to let him know. She used her last breath to say, "I love you." Then her eyes drifted closed and she went limp.

It broke Carlisle's heart, seeing her unfocused eyes, knowing that she was seeing someone else. He still had to save her, though. He loved her. With that thought, he leaned down and bit down on the skin of her neck.

* * *

**A/N:** Aww. Her parents watched her jump! How terrible! D:

Don't worry. The depressing part of the story is over now. (:

Review and be happy!

_Psychotic Female of Many Names_

_07.05.09_


	5. Chapter 5

**My Last Breath**

_by Psychotic_

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Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Summary: She used her last breath to say, "I love you." It broke his heart, seeing her unfocused eyes, knowing that she was seeing someone else, loving someone else. And yet he still had to save her. CxE, AU.

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Something was wrong. Something was terribly, horribly wrong. She should be dead, meaning there should be no pain and no screaming. Esme felt like she had been engulfed in flames, though, and they were licking at her skin, and had somehow gotten inside of her to burn her from the inside out. She could hear screaming, but there was no way for her to tell whether it was her own or someone else's.

Was she in hell? Had she done something awful to get sent there? Fear began to bubble up in her, but the fire quickly scorched it; she couldn't concentrate on anything else except for the burning.

Esme couldn't sleep to rest from the pain, and she couldn't get up and get water to try and douse the flames. She could barely move, only able to writhe and scream as the fire attacked her.

It seemed to go on forever. At one point, she lost her voice from using it too much, and was only able to gasp out hoarsely. Someone or something was dabbing her face with a cold washcloth sometimes, apparently trying to help with the heat, but it wasn't working. If anything, it seemed as if the water just evaporated on her flaming skin.

Esme was stuck in her own personal, burning hell for more time than she could keep track of. It wasn't like she had any room in her brain to concentrate on time, anyway. She didn't even notice when her senses heightened. She did feel, though, when the fire began to pull out from her hands and feet, seeming to suck inwards to her heart. This only increased the pain in her chest, though, incinerating her heart slowly.

The heat was soon all centered at her heart, and her screams became the loudest then. She couldn't help it. All at once, though, the flames were gone, and everything was still.

She couldn't even hear her own heartbeat.

Esme shot up, much faster than she was used to, and looked around. Everything was clearer than crystal; she could see fibers in the carpet and tiny indents where people had stepped in the room. Wait, people.

She walked around slowly, and then she heard a noise behind her. She turned on the spot, again at a speed she couldn't imagine, and crouched low, growling in her throat.

It was Carlisle.

The growling stopped and she slowly straightened. "C-Carlisle…?" she whispered. Her voice sounded different to her own ears, more melodious and musical.

He nodded and carefully stepped towards her. "Esme," he breathed, his arms outstretched.

She was in his arms then; there wasn't even any time in between her stances. Her head was on his shoulder, her face against his neck – god, he smelled wonderful – and their arms were around each other.

Of course, Esme must have been holding him tighter than she'd thought, because he said, "Esme, please, don't hug me so tightly."

She instantly let go and took a small step backwards. He shook his head, grabbing her hand and holding her close again.

"What is this?" she asked after some time. "I should be dead… I should be with Anthony and Bella… I should be…" Her eyes widened and she was by the window. "Charles! Where is he?! He hasn't found me, has he?! Please don't let him find me!" She had Carlisle by the waist, sobbing tearlessly against his stomach.

Carlisle lovingly stroked her hair. "Esme, no one except my family knows that you are here," he assured her. "I don't know anyone called Charles, and if you don't want him to find you, then he certainly won't. Who is Charles?"

Esme pulled back a bit and looked up at him. "Charles is… Charles is my husband. Was my husband? I'm not sure. He was…" She choked a bit on her voice, and has to pause. "He was abusive. I let him hurt me, though, because Bella was gone, and I had nothing else… Then I found out that I was pregnant and I ran away without him knowing. When Anthony was born, he was sick, and he soon died of a lung infection. I couldn't take it, and… and I jumped off the cliff. I remember seeing my parents and Charles watching me… If I'm still alive, though, then they must know…"

Carlisle lifted her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her comfortingly. "Charles can't get you, Esme," he told her. "He believes you're dead, as does anyone else you used to know."

"But… you don't. Unless… are you dead, too, Carlisle?"

He laughed, that magical sound that Esme loved. "No, I'm not dead," he stated. "And neither are you. We are… something else. Something far from dead, but also far from living."

Esme stared at him in confusion. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "We are… we're vampires. We're much different from what you would think of vampires, though. We only drink animal blood, and sunlight doesn't hurt us. We also don't sleep in coffins; in fact, we don't sleep at all."

"… Vampires?" Esme was a vampire. This was something that was a bit hard for her to process. She put a hand to her throat when a sudden ache caught her attention. "Is… Are your children vampires, too…?"

Carlisle nodded. "Yes. Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Edward, Rosalie… they're all vampires, and have been for quite awhile."

She stepped back, sitting down on the bed, her head whirling. She was a vampire.

"Wh-what am I suppose to do…?"

"You can stay with us," Carlisle suggested. "We can teach you our way of life, help you control your bloodlust… give you a family."

Esme's breath hitched at the last one. She had always wanted a family that she loved and that loved her back. The Cullens would be perfect… but she knew that Carlisle would never accept her love.

On a lower level, she heard someone speaking, sounding like an argument. She stood up and looked to Carlisle. "What's that?"

He chuckled. "I believe that is Alice and Emmett, arguing about who gets to come up and say hi."

"Why can't they all come?"

There was suddenly a crowd standing in the doorway, smiling at her. Esme took an instinctive step back, her eyes widening. "H-Hello," she greeted them politely, a bit shaken.

Alice skipped forward and hugged her. "Esme, it's so good to see you," she said. "I missed you so much! I wanted to bring you with, but Carlisle said no, that you needed to stay and live out your human life…" She rolled her eyes. "I knew that you wouldn't live it out like he wanted you to."

Emmett came up then and pulled her into a tight bear hug. "Esme!" he exclaimed. "How're you? It's been forever! What, nine years?"

Esme remembered the exact time, as Bella had died nine years ago. She nodded, and then was passed to Jasper for a hug. He was much more gentle and nice about his embrace than Emmett had been, and she was grateful. They exchanged happy pleasantries and then she hugged Rosalie.

The next person was Edward, and she hugged him like a mother would, her expression almost sad. "Hello, Edward," she said. He smiled at her and then stepped to the side to reveal a gorgeous brunette.

Her eyes widened. "Bella?!" she shouted, her entire demeanor brightening. The girl nodded and they hugged tightly, giggling and talking like teenagers again. "I thought… I thought you were dead."

"So did everyone else," Bella stated. "We had to do it so that people wouldn't look for me. Edward had promised to change me…" She smiled at her best friend a bit sadly. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't even tell you." She held out her left hand. "We're married now, too."

Esme frowned. "I missed your wedding?" she asked, feeling a bit hurt.

"I'm sorry," Bella said, apologizing again.

"Don't say that," Esme told her, hands on Bella's shoulders. "I understand. You couldn't tell me. It is what it is, and we can't do anything about it." She habitually put a hand on her stomach, which had been very large just days before.

She gasped quietly and stepped back, collapsing against the wall. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, but found that she couldn't fight off the breakdown. She had never properly grieved for Anthony, and now she needed to.

Carlisle went to her, sitting next to her and putting his arms around her. Bella had moved to go to her friend, but Edward put a hand on her shoulder, shaking his head. Everyone else left the room.

Esme sobbed brokenly against Carlisle, unable to stop. He sat with her the entire time, silent. He knew that no words could be given to comfort her. She needed to let it out.

They must have sat there for hours as she cried, but neither of them cared. When she was finally done, she smiled sadly up at Carlisle and said, "Thank you."

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**A/N:** Yay, chapter five! Now Esme is with the Cullens, and Bella's not dead! :D

Review and be happy!

_07.29.09_


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